Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Domestic Policy Debate Drinking Game

I made up a drinking game to go along with the Republican presidential debates, so, of course, I have to come up with a drinking game for our real presidential debates. 

Just the initial rules:

Get lots of water ready.  Preferably cold water. Cold water is inherently more delicious than warm water.

Invite your friends over, only alcoholics drink alone.

Pull up your favorite political blog, oh wait, that's me.

Put your keys somewhere where you're not tempted to get them later. Believe me, you don't want to drive after this.

Do not blame me for getting sick from drinking too much alcohol. If you feel sick or start getting the blackout blinks, please just drink water for the remainder of the game.

In your glasses in front of you, make your favorite mixed drink or put a beer in.

Place your community hard alcohol on the table or counter for shots.

Get shot glasses ready.

Ideally, you want your mixed drinks all ready for the entire night, so you do not have to miss the debate.

Get a glass of water, ready, too.  Or your favorite chaser.  Probably best to do both.

Get ready because here we go.

The rules for each of the candidates are as follows:

Barack Obama:

"Building from the bottom up" or any variation of that phrase results in a sip from your drink.

"Obama does care" or any variation results in a sip from your drink.

Criticizing Romney for changing his stance on health care or talking about Romney's health care plan results in a shot.

Criticizing what tax loopholes might be closed or speculating on what might happen if Romney hasn't explicitly said what will happen, take a sip. This includes the repeal of Obamacare.

Obama talks about same-sex marriage, kindly take two sips from your drink.

Take a sip if/when Obama says that's why I'm running for President.

Take a shot when it's clear he's politicking.  This means that he's not answering the question or rebuttal but saying empty phrases.

Take a sip when if he says that we tried that for years and it didn't work, when they're talking about economic policy.

Take a sip of water when he mentions the middle class.

Take a sip when he talks about ending Medicare or changing it.

Take a sip of water when he shows respect to Romney by calling him Governor.

Take a sip of alcohol when he says my opponent.

Take a shot when he says the Republican nominee or Republican establishment or any variation that would include those.

Chug your bottle of alcohol if he says my robot opponent, over here.

Chug your bottle of alcohol if he claims Romney is not a true Christian because he is Mormon.

Mitt Romney:

When he talks about his book, take a sip of alcohol.

If he has to back-track to explain his flip-flops, take a shot.

"When I was governor of Massachusetts..." or any variation of that phrase, take a sip.

If his hair looks fantastic, chug a glass of water.

If he reveals specifics about a policy, take a shot.

Every mention of lowering taxes, creating jobs, getting America back to work, or any variation of those phrase, is equal to one sip of alcohol.

Every time that he claims Obama is saying something incorrect, take a sip of alcohol.

Take a sip of water when he shows respect to Obama, by calling him President.

Take a sip of alcohol when he says my opponent.

Take a shot of alcohol when he says the Democrats, the Democrat party, or the Democrat establishment or any variation of that.

Chug your bottle of alcohol if he says my black opponent, over here...

Chug your bottle of alcohol if he says that Barack Obama is not Christian but a Muslim.

Drink responsibly and don't drive.


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